The lack of linguistic ability to express yourself in the right manner is really torturous. You will want to vent your emotions so as to make yourself feel better. But, i can't even do so.

Yeah i should go drown myself in a teacup.

Lol.. singh ah singh~~ I will always be in awe for your attitude towards life.

Time, is passing in an amazingly scary manner.

What the.. thats all i can come up with to describe it.

Lets look at one of my idol, Tlorrrrr :
Time. It heals emotional wounds, dilutes anger, forgets the remembered, remembers the forgotten and shows the true colours of people. Time. A strange concept which conjures wonders which can only leave us wondering.

See? It reveals the kind of difference in maturity and thought.

Oh well, what to do? I should be grateful for the whatever kind of intelligence i am bestowed with, with respect to the type of genes and environment i'm in.(read b/w the lines) but many times you also see the rise of respected and powerful individuals from the least favourable environment. Well,they choose to take charge over destiny and seek to create a different face for their life. It is "all about will" (fr him). But we must not overlook the crucial role of the abstract and unforeseen - Luck.

Ewww i am so out of point. Whatever. I just can't straight out my thoughts. Anyway, the point is, Time in A level year is moving with the speed of light. So really, there is no time to slack off. I don't only refers to mugging with every second you have in your hands, but more to implore all of us to utilise it properly. Be it that second you're sleeping,running,listening,talking, just spent it qualitatively. Yeah there are quality to talk about in all areas, even sleeping.

I'm not doing justice to the time i spent on running. On so many occasions, running becomes a sake for running. I have never devalued or degraded it that much in my life at all. Running w/o meaning and passion is no diff from a roaming zombie. I have no clear goals in mind, because i know too well i won't be able to attain it no matter what miracles. Precisely due to this defeated mentality, i don't see improvement in running, or should i say, to make sure i'm not lagging by too much. The lack of confidence and having such loser mentality will render any form of training to be useless.

During the process of running, it is either the weakening of mental power or knee-shin-back-foot-or-i-dunno-where- pain that will make the run a lousy one. The type of run that makes me feel utter waste of time. And i thought i went all out, cos every time i crossed the line, i thought i will go out of breath and die. But well obviously i haven. Not that i want to run all out and die, i just wish that i can go a little more out.. i'm not so hardcore like thadd that goes all out.. but his determination is so admirable and respected..

Another thing is i feel that it is a waste of time. Why? It boils down to the same fact that i know i won't reach the kind of state i want, and by the kind of state, i refer to my SEC 2 form!

I no longer get frustrated when the run is not well done. I simply resign to my own fate and nod approvingly, "Yeah you're lousy".

I'm a loser...


Sorry if this post is depressing once again, because i feel miserable doing something that i have subconsciously raise the white flag. The thought of quitting surfaced almost in every training.

I wonder what type of timing i will get for my trial 2.4 on monday.

Okay, to atone for my sins in making you ( if any) to read this entry, i should end this with a.. joke?

during chemistry lab lesson,

teacher: remember ar, u all must always read from the bottom of the meniscus-

student: huh? the bottom of the miniskirt?

- from "argon" blog. haha..
11:10 PM