100th post.....!

This ranting place of mine has proceed this far :) Although most of the time it does not hold much substance and content, and most of the time rather depressing, it is still a milestone ba. Haha =))

Today's trng was quite disastrous for me.. I was not at the best state, with PE just b4 it, and body aching from the various conditioning. Supposedly have to complete 4 x 1km, but i only finished 3 sets in the end. >< ... Partly cos of the stiffening of muscles (butt pain!!!! zzzz) and my stomach felt "watery" =.= Timings were not good......

Another race @ macritchie is on this sat. It is a CROSSCOUNTRY RELAY,each person will run 3.3km. Wooho this is quite special right! But i fear my performance will pull the team down =(
Oh well, hope for the best.

When heading to IMM aft trng for the search for team jerseys, saw him just outside sch................ yayy finally see his botak state cos that time only saw him with a cap on. Haha. Because i was with another person, i was unable to talk to him a lot......... arhhhh.. But somehow i feel, you understand i have a lot to say? Or is it again my one-sided speculation?

"train hard.." "study hard for As.. actually it isnt that difficult.."
what else?.. i forgot.. haiii

Then we said bye. While on the bus, i saw him and her walking tgt. So he had came to find her. Oh this is perfectly normal right, come on, they are a couple what.

I expect myself to be more green-eyed.. But somehow it tend to neutrality. Yes i want to talk to him a lot, but sometime it is too overwhelming that words just get swallowed.

And beside, i'm missing another someone. I'm not a flirt, cos that person is one who made my heart tied and closed for 5.5 years. Or.. Or.. has it been a fact that i seek to deny, of 7+ years???

IS IT?

Honestly and seriously, I DON'T KNOW.

pt told me don't let them be the whole of my life. I strongly defend that that is valid in the past, but not now, bcos i like the "him". Now it appears that i'm stucked and falling all over again. But the thing is, i'm feeling quite peace in the heart with this once wrenching one-sided love.

Maybe this is just once again a short term phenomenon of the flickering heart and mind. This has been very typical of me.

Now more on my mind is really yl,not so much him. >< I thought yl has changed, so i can psycho to stop the affection and devotion. But i realised last sat, he hasnt..... It is such an irony. If he changed, i don like the self he shows. If he didnt, i fall.

And what always happen when i fall?

HURT

I aint feeling that now, perhaps still immerse and blinded by the sweetness of last sat.
If this sweetness can blind me forever, i wont mind, just like a person will not want to wake up from a sweet dream. Right now, i'm still alright.. Peaceful =))

-------------------------->YL!<---------------------------------------------------

I bet some of my close frens are shaking their heads in despair bout my state again. heh ;) 11:30 PM