i saw him today.. =)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Went back to jj for econ make-up today. I rushed all the way to school, only to discover upon reaching that people were slowly strolling towards the LT. Inside the LT, it was only 3/4 full and there wasn't any sense of urgency in settling down to start the lesson promptly. Apparently the teacher anticipated it, and was not too bothered about it. Perhaps it was all too common. Then i realized, this is not nj or commonwealth. ..
It was not a fruitful lesson at all. How can it be when it started late and ended early?
On the way to canteen, saw Him and her at the concourse cozy corner. Only them alone..studying..At that moment, really felt heartbroken and suffocated. If i were along for a little longer, tear might even gush out.. Luckily saw B,J,jj and py, and went along with them for brunch. (though something that B and J did b4 the lesson make me feel really shouting V)
Left first cos PW meeting was canceled. I was walking towards the interchange, with messy hair and tired outlook. eh! what a familiar figure! the guy in outstanding green shirt! oh! Him! A broad smile immediately spread over my face. He saw me too! and we waved and smiled at each other ^.^ He smiled and pointed to his thick file, to indicate that he was going to study. Hohooo! I thought we will be just passing by each other but later heard him calling me back! Turn back with great uplifted spirit. Though the conversation only revolved around the HC stuff. lol. but its okay la.. sooo long didn't get a chance to talk to him le lo. When he was searching for the disc with all the HC photos, i gotta help to take his file. omg its like.. 10inches thick?!! really la. gosh.. He very funny lo. Wanna return me the disc so can put the photos up the board. He thought i had deleted all the photos from my comp and the disc is the only copy of all the photos. haha..
Before departing, checked with him if mb is dancing for od. He said dunno.. "Even if they are dancing i will not be joining" "Why?" "du2 shu1", with a smile and pointing to his thick file yet again. So we departed with that last bye.
Then i can't stop smiling to myself when walking to the interchange la. Must had looked like a moron. hoh.. just feeling, very sweet lo. haha i know it sound funny and silly.. cos i was like feeling heartbroken 2hours ago? oh well.. I am always this emotional.
喂。。怎么办。。我超喜欢你。。
但你只是她的专属天使。。
Labels: him
--Merci tout le monde--
2:33 PM
contentment
Sunday, June 3, 2007
What an unfruitful day. Not that because it was spent with yZ,but due to the lack of self-discipline to spent the time wisely.
So, reached jw lib just before 10am. You know,being typical singaporeans, i will arrive early to increase my chance of getting a table in the table-scarce jw lib. When i arrived,saw H******N. Was shocked. That means... he could be there too! ><
I tried hiding in a corner unsuccessfully cos there was no corners available for me to conceal my presence. In the end, i went to the toilet purposefully, coming out only when the 'gate' was opened. Actually i wasn't sure whether he was there at all, but just feeling a high possibility since H was there. Well, the thought was confirmed when i saw his bei4 ying3 with his usual schoolbag. He was hopping fast with eyes darting around in search for a table. yupp so found it and settled down with H..
When yZ came, i asked her to go to the area he was residing at, to take a look at him. She said he was wearing polo, but i saw him wearing black T. So i dunno were we referring to the same person -.- lol.. BUT,she said she saw a gal. So its most probably S yeh? But i did not spot her with them initially.. Oh well. Not sure whether he knew i was there. If he knew, it would be obvious that i was avoiding, for no comprehensible apparent reason.(just so typical of me.) But H seems to know who i am.. I hope he did not tell my confession to his pals.. ........ AH! There hasnt been much interaction with him ever since May!* . When saw him on friday, he just gave an acknowledge wave.(like what else more he can do?.. since we are not working anymore) . If he get involved in OD, it will be good then.. Hopefully.. But the chances are slim i guessed..
I am currently 17.5 and 1 day old. lol.. why do i want to remind myself of that? nah not trying to solicit gifts here.. save it for my grand 18th bday can? Haha... It is just that i see my dear fren pt very much elated for being 17. Looking back at myself, half a year of 17 had gone, a supposedly much enjoyable phrase of teenage life. But what did it really contain? Just much distress,tears,paranoid and fears.
1st 2 months were spent at njc. yupp initially was enjoyable with orientation.After that, it was much of slacking and being unproductive. Next was feeling lost, as i cant catch up, even pon school a day for not wanting to face the work in school.
Then,received my O result. Took quite a while to overcome the trauma and accepting reality. Got admitted into a vastly different environment. The initial target that i set to be the top 5% was not reached at all,FAR from it.Scholarship?HAHA. Cant get into scholars programme due to failing in attaining an A for English. Falling asleep in lectures. Failing tests. Feeling fucked up, easily.
Now..I am far far behind. Supposedly to use this holidays to atone all the acad sins. But now..am i?HAHA. Relationship with Jer,and maybe Benita, seems to be very sore due to PW. I really do not want to reach such state.. What can be done to salvage the situation? I wonder why were i so exhilarated upon knowing we are going to be in the same group. It just became a source of conflicts.
17.5 and 1 day. How many days do i really feel truly happy? ... I suppose what i lack, is just... contentment. 知足. As i marched towards the much anticipated 18.Labels: him
--Merci tout le monde--
9:36 PM
